It's a big, bad world Charlie Brown

I just read Olivia some nursery rhymes and put her down for a nap. She really likes the sing-song rythm and the pictures. However, these fun and catchy verses belie a more violent nature. Have you ever noticed that? Let me give you some examples (some of you may have to reach back in your childhood to remember these)...

First, you have a dog ridiculing a cow for jumping over the moon. The same poem encourages partying hard (the cat & the fiddle) and condones radical behavior in the elopement of the dish and spoon. It sounds like the rowdy kids vs. the overachievers to me. Personally, I would rather Olivia be a cow and be proud of it.

Second, when the King of Hearts found out the Knave of Hearts stole the tarts from the Queen of Hearts, he kicked the Knave's hearty little caboose. Effective? Yes, he returned the hearts and vowed to never steal again. Legal? This rhyme may have prompted the formation of DHR and foster homes.

Third, a woman living in a shoe with a million kids. She practically starves them, whips them and sends them to bed. Translation: grandma raising 10 grandkids in a two-bedroom house. Some do a good job, some are like the shoe lady. This rhyme makes the shoe lady sound more exciting.

There are others, like Goosey Goosey Gander who drags a man down the stairs for not praying, but those three are the most atrocious ones in my book. I can only guess that Mother Goose must be a title similar to The Godfather. I vote we censor them.

More philisophically, I ask you, what is the real reason for society's problems? Deterioration of the family? You bet. But I submit to you that it's not the family you're thinking of (unless you're thinking of your own). I'm afraid the blame lies with all of us well-meaning mothers who diligently read to our children each night stories that send subliminal messages of irresponsibility and violence. Nursery rhymes clearly support these qualities as acceptable, even desirable, as long as they are accompanied by a sing-song, lilting voice.

And, finally, if anyone leaves a comment that even hints that you take this diatribe seriously, please, don't bother coming back. You obviously don't appreciate my blog.

Put 'em up!

This is what Olivia really thinks of my cooking...

I appreciate all the comments on my last post. The past couple of days have not been bad. I found a way to angle her head so that I don't feel her teeth and I've decided to keep nursing for the next several months. She hasn't bitten me since just after Christmas, when she only had two teeth...thank goodness! She has six teeth now (one more since that last post) and I'm very grateful their novelty has long ago worn off.

You'll never believe what happened to me the other day. Aubrey is a really violent sleeper. He gets to this stage of sleep that's almost like a limbo between reality and dreams and can literally go crazy. Sometimes it's difficult to share a bed with him and when I was pregnant, I actually kicked him out a couple of nights. Tuesday night, we were on the couch watching TV. Olivia had already gone to bed, so he was stretched out with his feet on me (sleeping) and I was clipping my nails when he hauled back with his right foot and kicked me right in the side of my lower stomach. Hard. Thank goodness I had paused my manicure for a second or I probably would have cut off my thumb. It hurt soooooo bad. It reminded me of being hit in the stomach with a softball, jamming into the handle of a teeter-totter or getting hit in the stomach with the saddle horn when your horse starts bucking (choose the image you best relate to, although the last one can be pretty bad). A few inches higher and he would have knocked the wind out of me and I'm half convinced he would have broken a rib. Of course, being a girl, I started to cry right away, which immediately alarmed him. Sobbing only made it hurt worse, though, because it was difficult to breath. Aubrey felt so bad. The next day I was really sore and it was difficult for me to reach above my head or bend over, but today I feel fine. I'm lucky because amazingly there is no bruise...not on the outside, anyway. It is such a relief to feel OK. I can't believe that after a kick like that (seriously, he could have made a 30-yard field goal) I don't feel any pain right now, although it is still tender to the touch. Just chalk it up to an everday miracle...or a leftover cushion of baby fat...

Baby Jaws

I talked to my baby sister Saturday night. She's not really a baby anymore, though, as she graduated from BYU-Idaho a week ago. We talked for about 40 minutes and had a really good conversation. When I got off the phone with her, I realized how much I miss her. She's only one of my bestest friends and I see her maybe twice a year. I'm excited about seeing her this summer at our family reunion. I remember when I had to walk her to kindergarten because she was too shy. Do you know what her major is? Public relations with a minor in drama. Who knew? I also remember her when she was Olivia's age, which confirms just how quickly time really flies. Remember when you were a kid and summer vacation felt like an eternity? And the school year was even longer? My grandpa said that time went by faster as he got older and he was soooo right.

Speaking of the Bubble Queen...She now officially has five teeth with one more about to break free. Ouch! But, it's OK. She has a doctor's appointment in May and I'll make sure she's on the right track before I think about weaning her. Any thoughts on this, Mommies? She is really becoming a little firecracker. She crawls all over the place now and eats everything from bananas and sweet potatoes to spaghetti and roast. She will often suck on the last bite of food that she has. She gets that most definitely from me. I used to suck bacon and I still suck on carrots.

I'm sorry I couldn't be more interesting in my post. I just read my brother-in-law's blog; he wrote about sniper training (he's a detective and SWAT member in Lehi). He said that he's comfortable making a no-reflex kill shot from one hundred yards away and pretty comfortable from 200 yards away, depending on the wind. How can you top an entry like that?! I'll have to wait until Olivia is old enough to turn dinner time into a war zone before I can even come close.

Happiness is family

Lately I've been taking stock in myself and I've come to the realization that I am happy! It might shock you to know that I was quite surprised with this conclusion. After having Olivia, my greatest concern and fear was an extreme case of the baby blues (most of you know of my past troubles with depression, though it's not something I often comment on). It turns out, however, that I gave birth to six pounds of Prozac and only recently have I found myself down and out...hence my self-evaluation. So how does this help me realize I'm happy? Because during my research, I found that I bounced back from my "episodes" quickly and easily and felt no despair.

Let me illustrate. Several weeks ago, I was at church for Activity Days (in Tuscaloosa, not Greensboro) when Bro. Murray said, "Cheyenne, you seem in good spirits today."

I looked at him sideways and said, "Hmm...how can you tell?"

He chuckled and said, "You're humming, or didn't you know that?"

No, I didn't know that. In fact, that day had been a little rough for me, but I was still humming. Amazing!

And then the clincher. This morning Aubrey was out at 6 a.m. working in the yard, so when I got up I made cheezy hash browns, french toast and bacon knowing he'd be famished when he came in. So there we were, eating a rare breakfast together: Aubrey tearing into the hash browns, me cutting my french toast into perfect squares and Olivia ripping apart a pancake (giving most of it to Peanut).

All of a sudden, Olivia clenches her shredded pancake, gives out a scream and stares across the table. With clenched fists and a scrunched-up nose, she very cautiously leans over to her right, and then her left (with Peanut running circles beneath her). I watch her do this a couple of times and then look over to see what has captured her intrest and intense concentration. What do you suppose it was? Aubrey was playing hide-and-go-seek behind the juice carton. When Olivia finally found him, she shrieked with laughter. The game continued all through breakfast.

That's when I realized...again...how really blessed I am to have such a wonderful, happy family. It was the absolute best way to start my morning, seeing Olivia laughing and covered in pancake and cereal playing with her dad. It also reminded me why I married Aubrey in the first place. I knew he was made for mornings like this.

What a wonderful husband and father he is! He still knows how to push my buttons and teases me constantly (he's quite the joker), Olivia thinks watching the cat sleep is hilarious and I'm not completely devoid of humor. Even on my worst days, laughter, like what I saw this morning, is no stranger to our home. Isn't it funny how a game of hide-and-go-seek with a carton of juice can surface all of these thoughts and feelings?

My grandma always says that a glass of juice is the best thing for you in the morning. I had no idea she was this right.

Billie Jean is not my lover...it's just my new favorite song

Some of you have probably already seen this on Caroline's site. I wanted to post it, too, and didn't even think about getting it from YouTube. I am so in love with this song right now, I didn't even recognize it at first (I don't hear words very well) and Aubrey had to pull it up on the computer for me to listen to. We DVR'd the song and I listened to it again during commercials. I'm sorry, Tracy, but I think I even like it better than MJ! (It's over on my side bar if you want to listen to it. Just pause Olivia's music, at the bottom of the blog, first.) Everyone's making a big deal about how David Cook took credit for the arrangement and everything, but he so didn't. But, lest I fall victim to a pack of idiots, let me just clarify that he is singing Chris Cornell's (of Soundgarden) version of Billie Jean.

Rainy days and Mondays

We spent this weekend with Aubrey's parents at a campsite on the river that they've been going to since Aubrey was old enough to collect memories. It was rainy and cold and misty and blech. But, it was fun to be with everyone. Friday night we actually slept at Aubrey's parents' house because some really severe weather came through. Saturday night we slept in the camper...Aubrey, Olivia and me on one bed (those two are total bed hogs); Christie (sis-in-law), Rocky, Riley and Natalee in another part of the camper; Andrew (nephew) with a couch all to himself...lucky dog...and Pops and Nana in another bed. Crowded! Christie and I also won a game of Phase 10 and the "boys" caught an 8-lb. catfish. Eeew!

Now it's Monday and I'm having trouble getting started for the day...much less the week. There's always laundry to do, I suppose. That'll get me started on something...

Olivia is 8 months old today and has tooth number three. It's her top left front tooth. I, of course, discovered it while nursing on Friday. Not the best way to learn of its existence. She continues to become such a big girl and is eating more and more different foods. Aubrey is always afraid she'll choke on things, so he prefers to hand feed her tiny bites. It's actually pretty endearing. Last night he questioned me when I put a pile of rotini pasta on her tray for her to feed herself. She doesn't crawl yet, but she can scoot across the room in no time. Aubrey's prediction for crawling is by the end of the week. We'll see!

Also, last week I saw my friend Jill, who lives in Mississippi, and her daughter Adaline. Addy will be a year old this month and she is so cute! We went to lunch and she and Olivia smiled and giggled at each other the whole time. While we were waiting to pay, they even had their arms around each other for a minute. I really miss Jill and it was so fun to spend that time together. We served together in Young Women and forged a bond then. To maintain sanity, the leaders really had to stick together...Meghan knows...she was there! All in all, a good week last week and I think this week will be even better. If you know me, than you know that's saying a lot.

Nothing much to say

So, I'm trying to kill time and procrastinate all the writing that I have to do. My cousin tagged me and I've been procrasting posting it...so what better way to procrastinate than to do something I've already been procrastinating? Some of you won't understand that logic, though I'm pretty sure Tracy will back me up on this one. This was one of those ABC things about housekeeping, but I'll try to condense it.

Yes, I do wear APRONS and have since I was a little girl. I'm a messy cook and I don't like to be messy. I love to BAKE chocolate chip cookies and cakes, but I don't very often because I hate being fat. I prefer CLOTHESLINES because I love the way my clothes smell after drying in the sun. Also, I have made DONUTS. There's a shortcut recipe that I have. My friend's mom used to make them for us all the time for sleepovers. There is one homemaking thing I do EVERYDAY: dishes. Don't we all? Do I have a separate FREEZER? No, and I covet one in the worst way. The limited space has severely cramped my make-ahead-dinner style. I also use my GARBAGE DISPOSAL all the time, even when I shouldn't. My favorite HANDBOOK, or homemaking resource, is my imagination. I also consult my mom for a lot of things. I hate IRONING with a passion. We used to have to iron for my dad. Have you ever heard of the Soup Nazi? He is the Iron Nazi. Needless to say, all of Aubrey's dress clothes are wrinkle-free. Do I have a JUNK DRAWER? Um, did you read my House of Junk post? My KITCHEN is in need of an overhaul. It's too small with nasty, old vinyl flooring. But it has new black appliances, yellow walls and white cabinets. My accessories and dishes are blue. I absolutely LOVE arranging furniture and cooking. I MOP like it's going out of style. I have no carpet in my house. I wash my NYLONS in a delicates bag in the washing machine, though most of the time it's too hot down here to wear them. I open my OVEN to check on what's baking. I like to smell it. We make homemade PIZZA a lot. Mainly we top it with cheese, sauce and pepperoni, then add whatever's in the fridge. When all is QUIET, I read or get on the internet. I don't keep a RECIPE BOX. I have a little recipe binder my friend from high school gave me with lots of family recipes that I add to, several cookbooks and a folder for loose-leaf stuff. My STYLE OF HOUSE is traditional, I guess. It's a multi-level all brick with three bedrooms, 2-1/2 baths and a deck with a huge back yard. When we dine, I don't use TABLECLOTHS, but I do use cloth NAPKINS and placemats. People who eat at my home will never use a paper napkin unless it's a bar-b-que. It is an organized toxic wasteland UNDER MY KITCHEN SINK. Does that make sense? It's far too cluttered, but it is organized in rows according to cleaner. I VACUUM once a week, though I should vacuum more often...we share our home with a cat and a dog. I WASH at least five loads of laundry a week. I do at least one load every day. I definitely keep up with my chores with X’s ON A LIST. I love to cross things off. I'll even write down things I've already done just to cross them off. Aubrey does most of the YARD work, though I like to do the flowers and I mowed the front the other day. The last thing I do before catching some ZZZ's is absolutely nothing. It's rare that I do any housework after Aubrey is in for the day. I spend my time with Aubrey and Olivia. I don't even load the dishwasher until the next morning.

Well, I tried to compress it, but don't think I succeeded. Oh, well. I must get on with my day. I'm running out of time to procrastinate.