In Memorium

So, I'm not a huge die-hard fan of MJ, but I'm a huge die-hard fan of Tracy, who I'm sure is taking his passing very hard. Poor thing. So, may I just offer these points of consolation:

1. He can stop paying Billy Jean child support for the kid who's not his son

2. He has been reunited with his nose

3. He for real can never grow old now, just more unrecognizable as his cheek bones become even more prominant

4. He lived long enough to see his music butchered on American Idol

5. His slightly effeminate voice and other-worldly dance moves have made him an unforgettable music icon

Oh, Wacko Jacko, how will we get by without you? At least you haven't done anything noteworthy in the past 10 years. I feel like you've allowed us all to begin the grieving process early. In fact, I've already finished mine. My only regret is that you never found your other glove. But for you, dear friend, I hope my coordinating selection of music will help ease your pain, Tracy. Feel better and rock on.

Mmmm...chocolate...

Yesterday I woke up and suddenly realized that Olivia is old enough to do things like arts and crafts and baking. So, we made a fish. Then we made "Mmmm, Mommy, chocolate!" Chocolate is everything from chocolate milk to brownies, which is what we ended up making. She helped me stir the brownie mix, insisting on a new spoon after every turn (she even tried to put the dirty ones back into the crock by the stove that holds all my mixing things). This girl can really fling it, let me tell you. We had a really good time until I put it in the oven. She was mortified that we had to bake it, though she's a big fan of the finished result.

Here are some other things Olivia enjoys doing:

1. Dancing and jumping on Mommy's bed...picture Will Ferrell in Flashdance...
2. Calling her pink crocs. When it's time to go "dye-dye" we tell her to go find her crocs and put them on. She stands in the middle of the room and calls for her "cocs" repeatedly until we tell her where they are. Do you think she's lived with dogs long?
3. Wearing Mommy's high heels and bras. She wears my bra so that the cups go over her ears. She looks a lot like Princess Leia.
4. Sitting on the potty.
5. Kissing and pinching Mommy's fat tummy.
6. Taking bubble baths.
7. Claiming everything as her own. "No, Mommy, mine. Mine."
8. Hogging her Daddy. Don't try to come between them, he's another "mine".
9. Doing laps around the dining room table.
10. Taking her babies for walks in nothing but a necklace and her black Sunday shoes. And I mean nothing.

It's a lot of fun to watch her grow up because she's so independent. She's always been that way, though. She weaned herself, taught herself to eat and drink from a cup, taught herself to do all her puzzles and play with her blocks and taught herself to use all her appliances in her little kitchen. About a month ago she announced to us (in a rather passive way, really) that she was done with her crib. She sleeps in her toddler bed now and likes to sit on the potty whenever she has a wet or dirty diaper. She also buckles herself into her carseat and her high chair and prefers to get herself dressed. The latter one doesn't happen unless there's no where to go--she is prone to putting her pants on upside down or both legs through one arm hole. But heaven forbid you help her in any way. Unless you're grumpy, it's super fun to watch!

A Dog's Life

We brought Sparky home today. Unfortunately, it wasn't the way we wanted to. He was just so sick and so weak that we decided not to delay it any longer and we put him down. He's buried in our backyard where I can see him from the kitchen window. This weekend I'll plant daisies over his grave. They are my favorite flowers because they are so happy and friendly, and so was Sparky.

Aubrey, Olivia and I stayed with him in the room while they put him to sleep. I could barely see him I was crying so hard, but I scratched his ears and stroked his head until he was gone. This is all part of being a pet owner, but it doesn't mean you're prepared for it or that it is easy. The decision was, in fact, very easy, but following through with it was super difficult.

Sparky was by far the sweetest dog we had. He was gentle and protective and extremely patient with Olivia. He was beautiful and I'm heartbroken that my kids won't grow up with him. I'm sure there are some who find this attitude a little difficult to understand. After all, he was just a dog. But he wasn't just a dog to me and his presence at the Martin home is sorely missed.

Sparky Update

We went to go see Sparky after breakfast and I've been crying my eyes out all morning long. The vet said there was no improvement, other than the fact that he's stopped passing out. I think that we're going to have to put him down, but I'm not willing to do it until Wednesday. The vet said that he isn't eating anything and Aubrey and I couldn't get him to eat while we were there. If he would start eating, the vet would be more optomistic, I think, though damage has already been done.

If he gets himself well enough to come home, we'd have to continue to administer antibiotics to treat his spotted fever. He also has a heart murmur that will never go away. But that can be treated with a twice daily pill. But he's not eating or drinking, which means that he doesn't have any energy to get better and puts his kidneys in danger of shutting down. If he doesn't start eating soon, we can't bring him home. If we can't bring him home, we have to put him down. Aubrey said if he was left to his own devices, Sparky would probably go off somewhere and die. And he's right. I can't remember life without animals and I've seen my fair share of dying dogs, cats, goats, horses, chickens, bunnies, ducks, etc., and that's what they do. But I assure you I cried over every single one. Just because you're familiar with the circle of life doesn't make it any easier to watch. (I can't even watch Eight Below or Turner and Hooch). And it still doesn't mean you can't keep your fingers crossed.

Sad News

Sparky is in the animal hospital this weekend in really, really bad shape. The vet told Aubrey that Sparky was to the point now where he could go to sleep and not wake up again. He has a really bad case of heartworms, kidney failure and he's showing symptoms of tick-carried diseases. The vet assured us that we had not neglected him (although I know that we should have been giving him heartworm prevention medicine) which helps me feel a little bit better. He's not sure, though, if Sparky really does have lime disease or Rocky Mountain spotted fever, but he's giving him antibiotics right now anyway and he's on an IV to help his kidneys, but the vet doesn't know the cause and effect of it all. Sparky's a purebred and, like all breeds, was born with inherent problems. Could bad kidneys be one of them? As for the heartworms, the vet said a full-force treatment for heartworms would kill him. By Monday, we should know more about his condition. If he's getting better, then the vet will look at options for treating heartworm, but if things don't improve we're going to have to put him down. It makes me sick and breaks my heart to think about it. Sparky is the sweetest dog we've ever had. Who will Olivia play with now? We got her sidewalk chalk for Easter and she really likes to use it to make Sparky look pretty. In fact, when Aubrey took Sparky to the vet this morning, he still had some green eye shadow on.

I bet Aubrey never thought he'd spend this much money on a dog in his life, but y'all know how I feel about my dogs. I'll keep everyone posted, as I'm sure you will all be sitting on the edge of your seats this weekend waiting for an update. Hopefully things will look up. Sparky's got a lot of zip.