Dear Gallbladder,
Tomorrow you and I will part ways for the remainder of my soujurn in this life. What will become of either one of us, I know not. I am afraid that for you, however, options are somewhat limited.
You have been a part of me for 30 years, though I was mostly unaware of you. There was a brief time during sixth period my senior year of high school that I felt close to you, but I admit it was only because I was tested on your placement and function. And because I removed a close relative of yours from my cat, Riggor. In fact, I feel I owe you an apology for overlooking you and downplaying your important role in my digestive health. Recently, you have brought such ignorance to attention.
Was it the pregnancies? Was it my horrible lack of nearly every hormone? Was it because I ignored you? Was it our 30th birthday? Whatever the reason, you seem to have reached a point where you can no longer keep up with my daily needs. You have grown weary and sluggish. I hate to say it, but you have literally grown to be a pain in my side. More specifically, under my ribcage. You're my first organ to fail me and while I'm sad for you, I'm mostly sad for me. This means only one thing: I am continuing to get older and so are my vitals. I can only hope my other organs have twice the stamina you seem to have.
I am known in the medical circle, espcially among nurses and lab techs, for having a beautiful anatomy. I believe that this is because most of my fat is in my hips and thighs leaving my abdomen beautiful and clear. Nevertheless, you should know that you deserve part of that credit. With you gone, I will be less beautiful on the inside. So I thank you for your many years of service. And I thank you for trying to work through the problems you are having now, even if it has caused me a great deal of pain and discomfort. I bid thee farewell and wish you luck. Find comfort in knowing that we will meet again one day in the distant future, when you are actually working.
And now, one last request. Is it possible for you to weigh in the neighborhood of five pounds? I've hit a bit of a plateau and it would really help me out. Best of luck to you. It sounds odd since I never remembered you while you were with me, but after you're gone, I will never forget you.
Yours truly,
C. M.
5 comments:
It would really be nice if it weighed five lbs. I had mine out after Brett. He and Isaak crushed it till it could work no more. I felt so much better after the whole ordeal was over. Good luck girl, your'll do great!
Oh Chey, how I love your last tribute to your gallbladder.... I'll hope for you that it does weigh 5 lbs. ;). Good luck with surgery!
FUNNY! Good luck with the surgery.
Hate that it's come to this. If it doesn't weigh 5 lbs then maybe the drugs will make food a repulsive thought for a few days and you loose that 5 lbs.
Nicly written letter! i am amazed with the clarity! Farewell Letters
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